For many years now, I have had a mantra that you have to be honest first with yourself then with those around you. I cannot express how important this is. Recently I have been a witness to what happens when we are not honest with ourselves.
First of all, when we are first not honest with ourselves we do not express the deep root of what we are feeling. For example if we are not honest about what we need out of a relationship, how will we ever recieve what we are looking for. Sometimes we need to dig deep in order to determine what we are actually experiencing or feeling. This is often times difficult and takes time. It is easier to attribute a feeling or reaction to something quick rather than searching deep within. I get it, trust me I do.
Second when we are not honest with ourselves, and cannot express ourselves why are surprised when we do not recieve the support or things we need from those around us. Although we might have an awesome mana tribe or work family, they are not mind readers. Because of this, we have to say what we mean; and mean what we say. But, if we aren't honest with ourselves about our needs, wants, hopes, dreams then we cannot expect others to know or do it for us.
Finally, when it comes to being honest with ourselves and others I know I have felt more fulfilled, more heard and defintely like a weight has been lifted.
I heard a great analogy about when you aren't honest with yourself or others. It's kind of like food poisoning. What happens when we eat a bad piece of food? We get sick and (not to be too graphic) it comes out one of two ways. Well the same thing happens when you aren't honest. It festers and believe me it comes out one way or another - behavior, reactions etc. Ever been in a situation where you said to someone "It's fine" even though it's not? What happens, that feeling of it really wasn't fine festers; then you blow up over the next thing because you weren't honest about what bothered you in the first place.
I try to stay true to my mantra, becuase it allows people to know where I stand and allows me to recieve what I am looking for.