The Art of Thank You

As young keiki we are taught to say please and thank you. We call it the “magic words” or ask a keiki “what do you say”. We often times are not allowed to move on until we say these words. (We arenʻt given what we are asking for, we arenʻt just allowed to take what we have been given and go play or go to the next room)

As we grow up and participate in a fast-based environment, respond to numerous messages (texts, emails etc) and multi-tasking. (Let’s be real, no one is really great at multi-tasking, but our current lifestyles force us to constantly do it.) In the hustle and bustle, the busyness and the multi-tasking, we forget to take a moment and lead with thank you or please.

In ‘ōlelo Hawaiʻi we say mahalo. Mahalo doesnʻt just mean thank you (I mean literally translated it does); it is our way of expressing gratitude and connecting with that other person so that they feel that gratitude. Sidenote – in the Hawaiian culture, there is an oli called the oli mahalo which when chanted is done so with the feeling and expression of gratitude. When chanted we want the person receiving the oli to feel our gratitude, our mahalo.

Now I am not saying that we all have to oli to our colleagues and friends, but the art of thank you also expresses gratitude for someoneʻs actions, someoneʻs time, someoneʻs presence, someoneʻs mana. So when we donʻt lead with that thank you, we donʻt adequately acknowledge the other person. In a previous blog I talked about the importance of a name; and just as an inoa is important, so is mahalo. Combining those two – using their inoa and mahalo – then becomes a very powerful act.

I know, between text messages, instant messages, social media messengers, group messages, emails and phone calls -there are so many ways we receive communication. It is so easy to just get down to business and provide a response. But remember someone took the time to reach out to you, ask a question or provide you information. I have tried to make sure that I lead with “thank you” – am I perfect at this? Not at all.

Saying thank you doesnʻt just allow me to acknowledge the person, but by doing so also allows me to build a relationship with that person. It allows me to show that the time they took to reach out is valuable and appreciated and not dismissed or overlooked. For example, if someone is providing you information, you may not know what it took (researching, asking other people, compiling it in a way that may be helpful to you) to provide that information. I acknowledge their time by first saying thank you before I ask more questions or go into next steps. In a different context, if someone reaches out to me for example to see how my day is going or checking on me after an illness I hope that my thank you or mahalo makes them feel appreciated. I hope by doing so I show appreciation for thinking of me, for taking the time to reach out to me, for caring.

For these reasons I try to lead my communication with a thank you, reminding myself that “thank you” can go a long way. Our appreciation and acknowledgment may just be the sunshine in their day.